all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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