Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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