i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
