Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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