Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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