Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
