so explain again why im purple
no
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
