So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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