Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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