we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
