I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hippo gnu deer
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
