it wasn't lemon gatorade
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
