the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
