yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
