Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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