just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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