Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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