we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
