just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
