I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
