In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
