new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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