He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
