You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize