I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
