why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
