Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize