I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
