he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
