i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
