He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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