Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
