and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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