it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
