did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize