Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i have two assholes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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