I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
