We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
