So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
either way he was missing a nipple.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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