i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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