If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
