We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
