If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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