Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
