It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
