Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
