Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
