we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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