margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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