I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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