We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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