I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
