ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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