You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
