Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
