My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
