So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
