Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
