Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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