It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
