I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
