Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
