oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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