I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
