Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize