You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
