Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
