Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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