I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
