I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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