I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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